3 Surprises I Experienced Postpartum

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I was severely underprepared for the postpartum period. I did great with the prep work for birth- non-toxic registry, hospital bag list, and birth plan. Then when it came to the postpartum period, I found myself woefully unprepared. I’ve wondered if I’m alone in these feelings and I’ve realized that would be impossible. Out of all the women that have gone through this or will go through this, someone out there is going to have at least one of these thoughts too. Which means, it’s on me to share them and make sure that they don’t feel the crazy or aloneness that I’ve felt. Without further ado, here’s the 3 surprises I experienced postpartum.

Night Sweats

I’m just going to kick off the 3 surprises I experienced postpartum with one of the worst topics. The night sweats. Now, to preface, I was warned about these. My mom and my sister mentioned something about them and how gross they are. I’ve had night sweats before, no big deal right? Wrong. These are not anything like the night sweats you’ve experienced before. It’s not the mild fever night sweats that I’d anticipated. It was like a whole slip and slide in my bed. I was sure that I’d somehow slept walked to our pool, jumped in, and then crawled back into bed- clothes and all. I’ve never felt so disgusting in all my life and that’s saying a lot because have performed a lot of physical labor in the heat. Not one experience prepared me for the absolutely drenched clothes that I’d get after night sweats after birth. 

Now the good part, they don’t last. If you are somehow experiencing this or worried you’ll experience it, take heart, friend. The end will come. You’ll be absolutely disgusting for a few days or potentially around a week but then it gets better. My best advice is to keep some extra jammies close by or at least an extra t-shirt/tank top depending on the time of year. It’s also helpful to have a t-shirt close by as your milk comes in because that can get messy too.

Another recommendation is a washable pad for your bed. I took a couple from the hospital but if you don’t have that option you can also purchase them on Amazon fairly cheap. This is great because it will collect any sweat, milk, and blood, and it prevents you from having to constantly wash sheets. A towel would probably also do just as well but these are thicker and really hold it all in to prevent leakage.

Mother’s Intuition

If you’re my age, you’ll remember bringing home that baby from school. You know, the one that cries at night and your grade is how well you respond to it. Yeah, I remember that. It’s nothing like bringing your baby home. With that baby, you woke up because it was crying. When I brought my baby home, I was shocked to wake up because my baby was about to cry. My body somehow knows that she is stirring and in about 2 minutes she is going to cry. It’s incredible. 

I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the mother’s intuition that seems to kick in right away. Which is saying a lot because babies can be really hard to read in that newborn phase. You’re not really sure why they are crying you just know they’re crying and there is a short list of what it could be. Don’t worry, that gets easier too. As time goes on you can more easily identify why they are crying and they’ll even have different cries for different things. If you’re in the throws of it again, take heart, friend. This will also get better.
There are people that will tell you that the newborn stage is the absolute best and it might not be- that’s okay too! I personally preferred enjoyed it much more once we got to about three months and I could figure out her routine and why she was making the noises she was making. The crying and tiredness of the newborn season make it hard for me to enjoy it (and that’s not to say I hated it, it was just a hard season). 

Cleaning 

For the first couple months following our girl’s birth, I genuinely thought my house would never be clean again. I was baby wearing and carrying to get anything done. Now, I also recognize that I have a highly sensitive infant so this might not apply to everyone either. Naps were contact naps or they didn’t happen at all and I was so desperate for sleep there was no way we could skip them. Which meant that my house wasn’t going to be cleaned according to my old schedule. This is key- ACCORDING TO MY SCHEDULE. Baby wearing is great but when your body is already adjusting and healing, strapping a 10lb baby to your chest so you can mop the floor really is a lot of work.

We have 2 dogs so some cleaning had to occur. I’m still a little sad that no one ever offers to just vacuum a postpartum mother’s home. Don’t ask me to come visit unless you’re willing to also pick up a broom or a vacuum. Not kidding. This is something that I am adamant on being better at for my friends and family going forward. Granted, I’m still in the throws of infant life too but I want to be better for those around me. It’s something I wish someone would have done for me so I’m going to repay the favor I never got.

Since it was something that I never got, I had to figure out a way to make it work. I changed my schedule to do most of my cleaning on the weekends when my husband was home and I also lowered my expectations. My house wasn’t getting dusted and my windows weren’t getting cleaned. You know what? We survived. We can’t always live our lives thriving, there will be a certain portion that is spent just surviving. Take heart, friend, it gets better. By about 3 months, things got a lot better. I could clean during her wake windows and then at about five months they got even better as I started to get her to nap on her own and thus opening that time to clean.  

Bonus: Phantom Cries

Okay, I already gave you 3 surprises I experienced postpartum but wanted to include this one as a quick note. Phantom cries. No one warned me that as soon as I stepped in the shower or shut a door, I would hear phantom cries. It’s the most wild experience because they sound so real inside my head. I’m hoping they go away eventually but at this point I hear them constantly still (and we are about 6 months postpartum now). Just be aware, you may experience this weird phenomenon.

In Summary: 3 Surprises I Experienced Postpartum

The postpartum period is wild. Mine has been even more wild because I also lost my job a week after I returned from maternity leave. That job loss had a lot of positives and negatives but that’s a different post for a different day. It feels like a lot of society and social media talks about how magical the newborn experience is, but what if you didn’t feel that way? Well, you certainly aren’t alone. The newborn stage is so incredibly hard that it’s makes me not want to have another baby. The older she gets the more I start to think I could do it again but I think back to those first couple months and it changes my mind again and again. It’s okay if the newborn stage isn’t your favorite. As I’ve said, take heart. It will get better. 

If you are a mom, did you experience any of the 3 surprises I experienced postpartum? If you didn’t, I’d love to hear what you experienced that surprised you!